Nice Guys Do Not Finish Dead Last
by yaoidarkness16
Summary: James isn't finishing dead last, he's already finishing first in something. Being an idiot. He wants Lily, but the issue is he's trying to get a golden snitch; he's playing Quidditch trying to crush bombs in the goals, but he can't fly a broom. He has nothing in common with a studious bookworm, but it doesn't stop him from trying to date her and chase off all the other boys.
1. Black Lake

**|Story: Nice Guys Do Not Finish Dead Last|**

**|Chapter One: Black Lake|**

"Why are we here, Severus?" Lily asks nervously. It is a few days before their O.W.L exams and Severus had sent Lily a message saying he wants to talk to her.

"I needed to talk to you and I didn't want to be overheard," whispers Severus. He hopes his friends are not planning on being here tonight. That would completely ruin his plan.

"Your friends aren't here tonight are they, Sev?" asks Lily sharply. She has always been able to read him like a book.

Severus shakes his head. It is not a complete lie. He honestly does not know if they are here or not. So technically he is not lying, he is just not telling the entire truth.

That is the problem with Severus Snape and Lily Evans' friendship. They have been friends for years, but he never tells her the complete truth. He only tells her enough so that she will not be held accountable for anything _and_ so that she will not get angry with him. She picked up on this early on and the thought that he does not trust her saddens her immensely.

He stops abruptly and she bumps into him. He catches her before she falls and helps her stand upright.

"So what do you need to talk to me about?" Asks Lily, puzzled.

Severus shuffles uncomfortably. He had rehearsed what he is planning on saying, but it is different actually talking face-to-face with Lily. She has this effect on him that renders him speechless, especially if he looks into her deep, knowing, emerald oases.

"Well…, lately I've noticed… well, I'm just going to come out and say it. It seems like we're sort of drifting apart as friends."

Lily bites back a sarcastic remark and instead nods sadly.

"I know," she replies. "It was easier when we were younger and naïve. The fact that we're in two different Houses that hate each other… and have friends who loathe the other's friends…."

"It makes it harder to stay close friends," finishes Severus. "And truthfully, you're my only friend at home on Spinners End."

He does not mention that Lily is the only thing that keeps him sane at home. If he did not have her he would be on his own when his parents go at each other. Not that he ever talks about that with her, or anyone for that matter. He would never subject her to that sort of pain. He cares too deeply for her.

"You're my only friend too," says Lily honestly. "All my other friends are now at secondary schools or have listened to Petunia calling me a freak and ran off." She looks away from him and her hair covers her face, disabling him from seeing the expressive eyes that he loves so much.

Severus' insides burn with anger. He knows Lily's elder sister Petunia is a Muggle and he despises her for always calling Lily names such as 'freak'. It is obvious to everyone that she is just jealous, but this does nothing to console Lily. As far as Severus is concerned, Lily should just drop her. But how could he ever tell her that? She would slap him across the face and rightfully so.

"Anyway," continues Severus, "you get the Daily Prophet, correct?"

"Yes," Lily has a feeling she knows where this is going, but keeps silent.

"Well then I'm sure you have heard that the Dark Lord is—"

"Why won't you call him by his true name, Severus?" Asks Lily. "Why won't you call him _Voldemort_?" Severus winces. "'Fear of the name only increases fear of the thing itself'," she quotes.

"Where'd you hear that?" Sneers Severus.

"Professor Dumbledore."

"Yes, well Dumbledore always did fancy himself not afraid of the Dark Lord."

She scowls at the tone he used.

"That's because he knows better than to be afraid of someone like Voldemort."

Severus asks, "And what exactly _is_ the Dark Lord?"

"A coward and a bully," she says. Severus narrows his eyes. "Don't look at me like that. Besides, I thought only his followers call him the_ Dark Lord_." He gulps. "So it's true. You and your friends have been coming out here to be recruited."

"No, no we haven't," says Severus too quickly. "He doesn't accept those who are still in school."

She scowled heavily at him with crossed arms. She didn't like this.

"Hey Snape, what are you doing out—" begins his friend Erebus Avery. He stops short and sneers. "What is _she_ doing out here?"

"_She_ happens to have a name and I could ask you the same question," says Lily vehemently.

"How _dare_ you speak to me, you filthy little Mudblood," spits Avery.

Lily glares at him.

"Don't call her that," hisses Severus. His voice is so low though that over the winds Avery can pretend to have not heard him.

"No, it's okay, Severus," says Lily. "He can all me whatever he likes. He'd probably get in trouble with his Master if he _didn't_ insult me and my parentage."

Avery's eyes widen. Lily rarely sees fear in any of the Slytherins eyes but there it is, as clear as day. She feels a little bit satisfied with herself.

"What did you tell her?" Hisses Avery to Severus.

"Nothing! I didn't even know you guys were going to be here tonight," he lowers his voice so Lily cannot hear them over the wind.

"The Dark Lord had a change of plans," replies Avery shrugging. The next part Lily is able to hear. "Bellatrix tipped us off that he decided to come here to plot on how to infiltrate the—"

Whatever Voldemort is planning though, Lily does not find out, because at that moment four people appear out from behind a tree. It is James Potter, Sirius Black, Remus Lupin, and Peter Pettigrew. Peter, however, is in the back behind Remus. Always a little coward that needs protection.

"Why if it isn't Potty, Loopy, Pettigrew, and _Black_," sneers Avery. "Black, how does it feel to be a disgrace to your family?"

Sirius growls and James and Remus have to restrain him from attacking.

"You'd better watch your arse, Avery," warns James. "Sirius here doesn't need a wand to mess up your already ugly face."

"Oh, I must've touched a nerve," jeers Avery adding fuel to the fire.

It is at that moment that James and Remus cannot hold Sirius back any longer. He breaks free from their grasp and to their horror, attacks Avery Muggle style. His wand lies on the forest floor forgotten.

"I **(PUNCH)** WOULDN'T **(KICK)** WANT **(JAB)** TO **(PUNCH)** BE **(KICK)** RELATED **(JAB)** TO **(PUNCH)** THOSE **(KICK)** BLOODY **(JAB)** BASTARDS **(PUNCH)** IF **(KICK)** I **(JAB)** HAD **(PUNCH)** THE **(KICK)** EFFING **(JAB)** CHOICE!" Growls Sirius.

Lily is absolutely horrified. She has never seen Sirius so angry before and result to this sort of violence. It makes her sick to her stomach.

Then he gets up stiffly and straightens out his robes before casting another dirty look at Avery. Avery is now sporting a broken nose, jaw, and several bruises around the neck area. Not to mention being kicked in the groin is going to leave some marks. All Sirius has to show there was a struggle is a split lip.

"Come on Evans," says James curtly.

For once she listens him and follows the four out without another word to Severus. He had not said a word through the whole encounter with the Marauders, but is glaring at James' retreating figure.

Once out of the forest, James turns on Lily, "What the bloody hell were you doing in there, Evans?" He cries furiously. "Are you cruising for a bruising?"

"Ha, that's funny Prongs," laughs Sirius, back to his old self. James glares at him. "Right, sorry. I'll shut up now."

"It so happens that I was talking to Severus when Avery showed up," says Lily angrily. "Not that it's any of your business, so back off Potter!"

"Like hell it isn't my business, Evans!" Cries James. "Damn it, Evans, Voldemort is loose in the Dark Forest– it's everybody's business!"

"Not the fact that I was meeting Severus there, it isn't!"

She could never understand why he always had to butt in where he doesn't belong. It makes her so angry and he just keeps pushing.

"Why do you still meet with him, Lily?" Asks Remus quietly. She almost forgot his presence. "You guys are drifting further and further apart as friends and you both recognize it. Don't you think it's time to end it before you get in too deep and get hurt?"

Lily contemplates what he said and knows he is right. However….

"Remus, I know that you guys don't like him, but—"

"It's not a matter of like or dislike, Lily. When it comes down to it, Snape is getting in way over his head with supporting Voldemort."

"Merlin Evans, if he sticks his head any higher up Voldemort's arse he'll come out of his throat," cries Sirius. Lily makes a face of disgust at the imagery. "You should listen to Moony. He knows what he's talking about. _Siriusly_."

The other four groan at Sirius' attempt at the pun. It had grown old four years ago when he used it for the first time. Yet, he still uses it regularly.

"Merlin Black, I don't think I've met anyone less serious," smirks Lily as they walk through the castle's front doors. That earns a few chuckles. "What, was the name 'jackass' taken already when your mum was choosing your name?"

Sirius snorts. "She was saving it for my brother. We all knew it would fit him perfectly."

Everyone laughs, including Lily. Sirius always knows how to lighten the mood; it's a specialty of his.

"So, what were you guys doing out anyway?" Asks Lily.

The four exchange a look saying 'say nothing'. Whatever they were doing, Lily assumes, is strictly prohibited. All the more reason for her to find out and indulge in her curiosity.

"It's not like I'm going to tell anyone," says Lily earnestly. "I'd reluctantly abuse my power as Prefect out of curiosity. Plus, you basically saved my life so I owe you one."

James snorts, "Should have known there was a catch. Like you said earlier though, it's none of your business."

"But you didn't drop it," persists Lily.

"Quit while you're ahead Evans, I'm not going to tell you," says James grinning his charming smile that makes most girls swoon.

Lily is not like most girls though.

"Black?"

"Sorry Evans."

"Remus?"

Remus shakes his head sadly, "Sorry Lily." She goes to her last resort.

"Peter?"

"Well…, we were actually out so we could—" begins Peter, but Sirius claps his hand over his mouth.

"Darn, so close," says Lily disappointed. James smirks. "You're an arse Potter."

"Touché."

They finally reach the Gryffindor Tower where the Fat Lady is snoozing. At their footsteps she wakes up agitated.

"What are you five doing out at this hour?" She asks angrily. She never has liked being woken up. Then again neither does Lily at this hour so she is not one to talk.

Lily and Remus show her their Prefect badges and once they give the password she allows them in.

"And you three?" She asks James, Peter, and Sirius.

"Erm…," begins Sirius.

"Looks like you're finding the comfiest part of the floor out here."

Lily and Remus crack up laughing. Remus because he feels sorry for his friends and Lily because she is enjoying the image of James' disgruntled face in the morning.

"We should really let them in," says Remus, and Lily sighs.

"I suppose you're right," she opens the door for them and the three of them scramble into the common room before they can be told off.

"Am I right in assuming that Evans was all against letting us in?" Asks James to Remus.

Remus shrugs.

"She caved pretty easily," he jokes, and Lily sticks her tongue out at him.

James' eyes twinkle in a way that Lily does not like. She narrows emerald green orbs at his milk chocolate ones.

"Does that mean you'll reconsider going out with me?" He asks hopefully.

"Not a chance in hell, Potter," she says annoyed. "My answer still stands."

With a disdainful look at him, she runs off to bed trying hard not to relive the night's events.

**xXx**

The week's O.W.L's testing are a breeze in both Lily and James' opinion. Lily, like Remus, has studied like crazy beginning all the way back of the end of their Third Year. James on the other hand, like Sirius, has not bothered studying at all and still passes with flying colors. This is one of the many things that Lily finds annoying about James. He doesn't seem to give a damn about his grades and he is still one of the top students of their year. Now, it comes down to their second to last test. The written portion of Defense Against the Dark Arts.

Once again, it is the last day of the exams,_finally_, and everyone is starting to breath easily again. However, with the stress of their second to last 'make it or break it' test, the Great Hall is completely silent as they take their Defense Against the Dark Arts Test. Sunshine is streaming through the high windows onto the bent heads, which shines chestnut and copper and gold in the bright light.

"Five more minutes!" Squeaks Professor Flitwick.

James yawns hugely and rumples up his hair, making it even messier than it had been. Then, with a glance towards Professor Flitwick, he turns in his seat and grins at Sirius who is sitting four seats behind him.

James gives Sirius a thumbs-up and laughs as he is lounging in his chair at ease, tilting it back on two legs. James turns back to his seat and starts doodling on a spare bit of parchment. He draws a snitch and then traces the letters 'L.E.' in it and then sketches lines to make it seem like it's flying throughout the air. He can't get his mind off her no matter how much she infuriates him. She has him running in circles constantly questioning his actions and he wishes she could see that he is not the arrogant jackarse she thinks he so rightfully is.

"Quills down, please!" Squeaks Professor Flitwick. "That means you too, Stebbins! Please remain seated while I collect your parchment! _A__ccio!"_

Over a hundred rolls of parchment zoom into the air and into Professor Flitwick's outstretched arms and knocking him backwards off his feet. Several people laugh. A couple of students at the front desk got up, take hold of Professor Flitwick beneath the elbows and lift him back on to his feet.

"Thank you… thank you," pants Professor Flitwick. "Very well, everybody, you're free to go!"

James hastily crosses out the 'L.E.' he had been embellishing and stuffs his exam papers messily in his bag and stands waiting for Sirius. Out of the corner of his left eye he notices Severus a short way away and moving between the tables towards the doors to the Entrance Hall, still absorbed in his own exam paper. Round-shouldered yet angular, he walks in a sweeping manner that puts Batman to shame, and his oily hair is jumping about his face.

_What a git_, Thinks James with a smirk on his face. _It's a wonder how he ever gained Evans as a friend._

A gang of chattering girls separates Severus from James, Sirius, Remus, and Peter as they walk out. It's the last thing on his mind now.

"Did you like question ten Moony?" Asks Sirius as they emerge into the Entrance Hall.

"Loved it," says Remus briskly. "'Give five signs that identify a werewolf.'"

"Excellent question," the other two say in unison with a smile.

They're like two peas in a pod, two droplets of water dripping on the side of a glass, and two nuts in a boiled peanut.

"Do you think you two managed to get all the signs?" Says James in tones of mock concern.

"Think so," says Remus seriously. "One: there's one in my chair. Two: there's one wearing my clothes. And three: his name is Remus Lupin…."

Peter is the only one who does not laugh. However, none of them notice this and continue in their merth.

"I got the snout shape, the pupils of the eyes and the tufted tail," he says anxiously. "But I couldn't think what else—"

"How thick are you, Wormtail?" Says James impatiently. "You run round with a werewolf once a month—"

"Keep your voice down," implores Remus.

James and his three friends work their way over to the beech tree and sit down calmly underneath it. It's like they were never missed seeing as they fit so snuggly; it really does feel like home to all of them.

"Well, I thought that paper was a piece of cake," says Sirius. "I'll be surprised if I don't get 'Outstanding' on it at least."

"Me too," says James.

He puts his hand in his pocket and takes out a struggling Snitch.

"Where'd you get that?" Asks Sirius.

"Nicked it."

"Won't you get in trouble for that?" Asks Remus.

James shrugs and he starts playing with the Snitch, allowing it to fly as much as a foot away before seizing it again; his reflexes are excellent. Peter watches him in awe. The sunlight is dazzling on the smooth surface of the lake, on the bank of which the group of laughing girls who have just left the Great Hall are sitting, with their shoes and socks off, cooling their feet in the water.

Remus pulls out a book and starts reading. Sirius stares around at the students milling over the grass, looking rather haughty and bored. James is still playing with the Snitch, letting it zoom further and further away, almost escaping but always grabbing it at the last second. Peter is watching him with his mouth open. Every time James makes a particularly difficult catch, Wormtail gasps and applauds. After certain periods of time James ruffles his hair again as if to make sure it does not get too neat and keeps looking over to where the girls are by the water's edge.

"Put it away, will you," says Sirius finally, as James makes a fine catch and Peter lets out a cheer. "Before Wormtail wets himself with excitement." Peter blushes and looks away from the pair.

"If it bothers you," he says whilst stuffing the Snitch back in his pocket.

"I'm bored," says Sirius, "wish it was full moon."

"You might," says Remus darkly from behind his book. "We've still got Transfiguration, if you're so bored you could test me. Here…" and he holds out his book.

But Sirius snorts, "I don't need to look at that rubbish, I know it all."

"If you're so bored Paddy," says James excitedly. "Over there…," he points to a clump of bushes. "… is our favorite entertainment."

Sirius' head turns. He becomes very still, like a dog that has scented a rabbit. Animal instincts one would suppose.

"Excellent," he says softly. "_Snivellus._"

Severus is on his feet again, and is stowing the OWL paper in his bag. As he leaves the shadows of the bushes and sets off across the grass, Sirius and James stand up. It's all a little game to them.

Remus remains sitting: staring down at his book, though his eyes are not moving and a faint frown line has appeared between his eyebrows.

"All right, Snivellus?" Asks James loudly obviously trying to draw in an audience.

Severus reacts so fast it's as though he has been expecting an attack: dropping his bag, he plunges his hand inside his robes and his wand is halfway in the air when James shouts. "_Expelliarmus_!"

Severus' wand flies twelve feet into the air and falls with a little thud in the grass behind him. James smirks and Sirius let out a bark of laughter. Like it's already been repeated: they're two peas in a pod.

"_Impedimenta_!" He says, pointing his wand at Severus, who is knocked off his feet halfway through a dive towards his own fallen wand.

Students all around have turned to watch. Some of them have gotten to their feet and are edging nearer. Some look apprehensive, others entertained ergo it's all going according to James' plan.

Severus lay panting on the ground. James and Sirius advance on him, wands raised, James glancing over his shoulder at the girls at the water's edge as he goes. One little redhead is on his mind alone.

"How'd the exam go, Snivelly?" Says James.

"I was watching him, his nose was touching the parchment." Says Sirius viciously. "There'll be great grease marks all over it, they won't be able to read a word."

Several people watching laugh; Severus is clearly unpopular. As it's scientifically proven looks do matter and the half-blood doesn't have any.

Sirius lets loose another laugh and James smirks again. Severus is trying to get up, but the jinx is still operating on him; he is struggling, as though bound by invisible ropes.

"You- wait," he pants, staring up at James with an expression of purest loathing. "You- wait!"

"Wait for what?" Says Sirius coolly. "What're you going to do, Snivelly, wipe your nose on us?"

Severus lets out a stream of mixed swear words and hexes, but with his wand ten feet away so nothing happens. Anyone with a shred of human decency would sympathize with him.

"Wash out your mouth," says James coldly. "_Scourgify_!"

Pink soap bubbles stream from Severus' mouth at once; the froth is covering his lips, making him gag, and choking him. He could actually die from this….

"Leave him ALONE!"

**xXx**

"That last Exam was dreadful," moans Lily's best friend of all time Karin Smith. "I'm dreadful at D.A.D.A. and I know I failed it."

"That's what you say every time you take the exam and then you end up doing better than me," smirks Lily, taking off her shoes and socks so as to dip her feet in the water.

Karin's the blunt one. She speaks her mind and is brutally honest about everything. She doesn't get the concept or empathy or really care whether what she says is acceptable or not. Though, this doesn't make her friends love her any less and on some occasions it makes them adore her… like when dealing with bullies.

"Besides, we have Transfiguration next and that I _know_ I'm going to fail."

"Maybe you should get a tutor," suggests Lily's other friend Alice Prewitt.

She is a quiet girl who can be boisterous when just in the company of her friends, but gets shy and puts up barriers when people like the Marauders come around. The boys have a presence that either infuriates, relaxes, or intimidates you… socially.

"Ha, the only person who knows Transfiguration better than Lily is—" begins Lily's friend Marlene McKinnon.

She's the tom boy. She's not afraid to get down and dirty. Also, she happens to love Quidditch and plays as one of the Chasers for Gryffindor. She's the kind of girl who wears high ponytails, no make up, and sports bras… all the time.

"—Potter," Lily scoffs. "and there's no way I'd ever ask him to tutor me. He would never let me hear the end of it."

"Come on Lily, cut the boy some slack," says Alice. "Sure he's conceited and all, but he can also be a really good guy." Lily looks doubtful. "Plus, he's crazy about you."

Lily snorts, "Yeah, right. I don't care how 'nice' you claim he is, I'm not asking him for a favor. I don't need to be in his debt."

The young redhead doesn't want to know what sort of _payment_ James would come up with. Ooh, unpleasant shivers ran down her spine as she brings her mind away from that situation.

"Sometimes Lily you are so—" begins Karin. "Hey, what's going on up there?"

There are several flashes of lights coming from across the lake. The girls are curious as to what's going on as their heads tilt to the side in unison.

"Looks like a fight by the way everyone's forming a circle," Observes Marlene.

"No, really?" Teases Alice.

When Alice is not looking, Ariana cups some water in her hands and pours it on her head. The cold water is chilling and shocking to her average heightened body.

"HEY!"

"Hey! Lily, where are you going?" Asks Karin inching away from her loud friends.

Lily's now struggling in putting on her shoes and her socks since her feet are soaking wet. The girl's determined to have her way though; redheads always seem to be stubborn.

"I'm a Prefect! I have to stop whomever is dueling," says Lily. "No doubt it's Potter and Black terrorizing some Slytherin."

"Isn't it always?" Snorts Alice. "But anyway, I'm sure the Slytherin deserves it."

Of course, the Gryffindor and Slytherin rivalry have been long standing since the dawn of time. It's almost like it's embedded in their genes.

"What is it with you all and House prejudices?" Cries Lily. "I swear you're getting as bad as Potter and Black."

"It's true though, Lily," points out Marlene. "All Slytherin's are vile and cruel."

"Not Severus," says Lily, tying her shoes. "He's nice…."

"…Only to you," finishes Karin.

Lily ignores her and begins marching up the hill. She's not going to listen to them, Severus has been nice to her since they were children, and their opinions won't change her mind.

"What are you planning on doing?" The girls cry up the hill.

"I'm planning to put a stop to this madness," calls back Lily. "I'll see you lot later in the Common Room."

She walks up and sets her eyes upon the unfolding scene. It's not a duel. It's Potter and Black ganging up on Severus _again_. She swears one day she going to turn them into toads and then smash them with a hammer…. It's a little harsh, okay a lot harsh, but her temper is like acid.

"Leave him ALONE!"

James and Sirius look around. James' free hand immediately jumps to his hair trying to make it even messier to try and impress subconsciously.

"Oi Evans, what's up?" Asks James.

"Leave him alone," Lily repeats whilst ignoring James' comment all together.

"Yeah we heard you first time Evans," says Sirius coolly.

James glares at him for obvious reasons.

"What's he ever done to you?" Lily questions.

"It's more the fact that he exists, if you know what I mean…," James finally adds after a long silence.

Many of the surrounding students laugh, Sirius and Peter included. Remus, however, does not and continues staring intently at his book. Lily will not let that go; she's had it with him.

"You think you're funny," she says coldly. "But you're just an arrogant, bullying toerag, Potter. Leave him _alone_."

"OI!" Shouts Sirius.

But it is too late. Severus has directed his wand straight at James; there is a flash of light and a gash appears on the side of his face. The Slytherin doesn't play around.

James' face spatters his robes with blood. He whirls about: a second flash of light later, Severus is hanging upside-down in the air and his robe falling over his head to reveal skinny, pallid legs and a pair of graying underpants.

Many people in the now very large crowd cheer. Sirius and James roar with laughter much to Severus' chargrin.

Lily, whose furious expression had twitched for an instant as though she was going to smile, says, "Let him down!"

"Only if you go out with me," James challenges.

Lily stood with her hands on her hips, "I would rather date the Giant Squid. Let him down," she orders again.

She cannot believe he has the _audacity_ to ask her out after everything's he has done to her and her best friend. James Potter is without a doubt the most conceited and insufferable _boy _on the planet.

James sighs. With a flick of his wand at Severus, he falls to the ground, "_Petrificus_ _Totalus_!" and Severus keels over again, at once, rigid as a board.

"LEAVE HIM ALONE!" Lily shouts.

She has her own wand out now. James and Sirius eye it warily.

"Ah, Evans, don't make me hex you," says James earnestly.

"Take the curse off him, then!"

James sighs again, deeply, then turns to Severus and mutters the counter curse much to his dismay.

"There you go," he says as Severus struggles to his feet again. "You're lucky Evans was here, Snivellus—"

"I don't need help from filthy little Mudbloods like her!"

Lily's heart splits in two. He had been her friend! She had helped him and he responds by calling her a Mudblood? Well, if that is the way things have to be then she will just need to accept it.

Lily blinks, "Fine." She says coolly. "I won't bother in the future. And I'd wash your pants if I were you, _Snivellus_."

Every fiber of Severus' being is on fire with embarassment, heartbreak, guilt and regret. He can tell in those pretty green orbs that Lily has had enough.

"Apologize to Evans!" James roars at Severus, his wand pointed threateningly at him.

"I don't want _you _to make him apologize." Lily shouts, rounding on James. "You're as bad as he is…."

"What?" Yelps James. "I'd NEVER call you a— you-know-what!"

"Messing up your hair because you think it looks cool to look like you've just gotten off your broomstick, showing off with that stupid Snitch, walking down the corridors and hexing anyone who annoys you because you can— I'm surprised your broomstick can get off the ground with that fat head on it. You make me SICK!" She turns on her heel and hurries away, too upset to remember to dock points from both Houses.

"Evans!" James shouts after her. "Oi, EVANS!"

But she doesn't look back. She, like stated before, has had enough and she's not going to deal with James or Severus any longer.

"What's with her?" Says James as if trying to make it look as though it is a throwaway question of no real importance.

"Reading between the lines, I'd say she thinks you're a bit conceited mate," says Sirius.

"Right," says James, now looking furious, "Right—" There is another flash of light, and Severus is once again hanging upside down in the air. "Who wants to see me take off Snivelly's underpants?"

The whole crowd jeers except for Remus— he's left the area— as the underpants come off and reveal to everyone's eyes the contents of what's hidden in those greying undergarments. To say the crowd is disgusted yet highly amused is an understatement.

**Author's Note: Should I continue? Does this interest anybody? If so I hope you have enjoyed, followed, favorited, and reviewed this story. If you don't, then I suppose you don't like this fic and if you do like it then I won't know. :—P So, bye-bye. :—D**


	2. Blow Jobs and Chocolate Ice Cream

**Author's Note:**

**_|Thanking Guest Reviewers|_**

**•Harry: Well, I started with a familiar memory, but if you wish to continue reading this like I hope you will. It gets interesting, I promise. :—D It's kind of like a promo, a prologue, or a teaser trailer. Which ever you wish to call it that's what I consider it. And in this chapter things that aren't flashbacks from the books are in here. If you continue to read this, Harry, you'll find out how you're mom and dad fell in love. It'll be super sweet, I can promise you that. :—)**

**|Chapter Two: "Blow Jobs" and Chocolate Ice Cream|**

It is a warm June day as Lily runs to meet her friends, her hair flies in the breeze behind her, reflecting the golden sunlight. She ignores the stares she is getting from some of the guys in her year and older as she keeps running. It is only when she collides with something hard and quite muscly does she stop.

"Watch where you're— oh, hey Evans," says James, ruffling his hair absentmindedly. She glares up at him. She realizes what he was about to say before he saw it was her and thinks there is no need to give her 'preferential' treatment.

"Hello to you too, Potter," says Lily coolly. "What are you doing here?"

"Well, you see, I was conceived approximately eighteen thousand one hundred and forty-four days ago," begins James. "So I guess you could say I'm here because my parents had—"

She does _not_ need to know that.

"Okay, knock it off Potter, I don't need to know that and I don't have time for your crap," says Lily, her eyes flashing dangerously. "And next time someone asks why you're here, you don't need to tell them your whole life story."

"True, but you cut me off when I was going to add that God put me here seeing as I'm his gift to women," says James, flashing a smile.

Passerby girls practically faint, but Lily just rolls her eyes. His 'charms' have never impressed her. She figures it's because they're practically polar opposites and in two different worlds.

"Think whatever you want Potter," retorts Lily. "Now I really have to go and meet the girls."

"You have to go already?" Asks James with a playful pout.

Lily's expression isn't playful. "Yes and if it counts for anything, you'll always be the equivalent of dragon dung in my opinion," she smirks at his expression.

She begins jogging again so she can meet her best friends in the Three Broomsticks, only stopping to speak to one boy named Michael who is in his third year. She tries to hurry the conversation up as quickly as she can, but he keeps talking. She gets the idea that he almost _idolizes_ her. He is a tad socially awkward too, so the conversation ends sooner rather than later.

"Hey girls, sorry I'm late," pants Lily right outside the shop. "I ran into a third year and Marlene's dimwitted teammate."

"Which one?" Jokes Marlene referring to the latter.

"I heard that Marley," says Sirius' muffled voice from a few tables over.

He is sitting snogging some girl he must have picked up at the bar. He looks a little bit busy. However, he's not busy enough to reply back to Marlene's comment. She scowls heavily at him for the nickname she hates so much.

"Asked and answered," laughs Alice as Lily sits down.

Marlene says, "Seeing as the bane of your existence isn't Black I'll safely assume you ran into Potter."

"You safely assumed right," says Lily while ordering a butterbeer. "Merlin, he winds me up!"

"He will be happy to hear that," teases Karin, taking a sip of her own drink. Lily playfully slaps her on the arm and takes a sip from her newly arrived drink.

They spend the rest of the time discussing schoolwork, friends, and making plans over the summer. It is fun to spend time with her group of friends. They know her like the back of their hands and vice versa. None of them feel pressured and it is wonderful.

"Thanks Lily. Maybe I'll try it out on Potter tonight during our last Quidditch meeting for the year," she says with a small smile.

Lily grins and takes a swig of butterbeer.

Alice asks, "Lily, why do you hate James so much?"

Lily starts laughing hysterically. She laughs for a good ten minutes while her patient friends smile and wait for her to finish. Once she is done and sees they are still waiting she says, "Wait, you were serious?"

"No, I'm Sirius," says Sirius loudly.

The whole restaurant boos, most having heard this joke too many times to count.

"Anyway… I don't _hate_ Potter," says Lily uncomfortably. She looks down and and away. "He just really annoys me for a number of reasons that I don't care to list."

Alice nods in understanding, "He's a bit irritating at times. Especially when he doesn't listen to you when you're trying to tell him something."

"Exactly, I've lost track on how many times I have told him to stop hexing Severus. That, and he always asks me out making me even angrier. He just brings out the worst in me."

The girls understand this. Usually the redhead is not so fiery, mean, or angry. On the contrary, whenever James is not around she's very sweet, kind, and considerate. Lily and James are like fire and gasoline; they are very explosive when in contact with each other.

A husky voice says from behind Lily, "Come on Evans, I know you secretly _love_ being asked out by the handsomest guy around. Who else would bother to pay that much attention to you? And there's more to you than just _that_ part?"

She whips around and looks up, glaring daggers at a cocky James Potter.

"Sod off Potter," she growls. "As a matter of fact, yes, there is another side to me and you know as well as I do that the only reason no other guys will ask me out is because they are afraid of you."

"And rightfully so. If I can't have you, nobody can."

Lily's eyes flash dangerously and the girls gulp. The restaurant and bar gets suddenly silent, interested in watching the back-and-forth between Lily and James. Yep, they are definitely explosive.

"Is that so?"

"Of course, even if someone _did_ want to go out with you though, they would have to realize that they won't be able to do anything with you seeing as you have a big metal pole there."

The whole bar 'oohs', particularly the men and their dates smack them. Lily narrows her eyes, but James doesn't shy away.

"Why don't you go bother somebody else Potter? Is it really that hard to see that not everyone melts at your feet?" Several people wolf-whistle and clap. "Come on girls, let's go somewhere with a better view."

"Yeah, you're right Evans, you'd better leave now," retorts James. "Didn't you read the sign? No _bitches _allowed."

The whole place gasps as does Lily. James has crossed the line now. In fact, he might as well have dug his own hole and jumped into it. In a flash, Lily is up and her wand is pointing threateningly at him, as is his at her.

"You wouldn't _dare_," sneers Lily. "Plus, I'm doing you a favor by damaging you."

"Oh, yeah? How's that?" Asked James.

"If you fall down and get hurt one day you can blame it on your inability to see past your nose."

He looks at her like she is crazy as she waves her wand and silently casts a curse on him. To everyone's horror, James' head begins swelling up to the size of a Muggle hot air balloon. Lily is right in that he will not be able to see the ground due to his now abnormally large nose.

"I've always said your head is full of hot air," says Lily laughing derisively. "And now it fits your ego too!"

Potter has Black to depend on if he wants his head back to normal. Lily grabs her shocked friends and leads them out of the bar to go and hang out at Zonko's Joke Shop. They are laughing the entire way there and, of course, it catches Remus' attention.

"Hey Lily, hey Karin, hey Marlene, hey Alice," he greets and then asks. "What's so funny?"

Eventually when their laughter ceases, Marlene informs him of what the score is and what went down just a few minutes ago. Of course, it causes all of them to laugh, except for Marlene since she's had her fill of giggles. She's far more composed then most people her age.

"So you seriously inflated his head?" Asks Remus, his mouth agape. Lily nods. "Well, this time he deserved it. He had no right calling you a bitch."

"That title is reserved for Black," Marlene says drily.

Remus snorts. Karin quirks an eyebrow at him showing that she's confused.

"What's so funny?" Demands Karin. She looks at Remus and flushes lightly when he grins at her.

"Oh, nothing," says Remus nonchalantly.

"Okay…," hesitates Lily. "Do you lot want to head back?"

"Sure," they all say.

They exit the shop into the warm summer breeze. Their destination is the great beautiful castle in the distance.

"You know, I haven't laughed that hard since that jockstrap incident," says Marlene casually with her arms crossed over chest.

Immediately, that gains everyone's full undivided attention. Marlene didn't expect that, she supposes that is what she gets for not minding what she says.

"Jockstrap incident?" Lily, Alice, and Karin say in unison.

"Do care to let us in on that?" Remus says curiously.

Marlene flushes and closes her eyes briefly. She is uncomfortable and a little embarrassed. But, her friends won't let it go.

"I'm not supposed say, it's an inside joke and I promised—" Marlene begins.

Lily cuts her off with a playful tone of voice, "Marlene Anne McKinnon when have you ever a kept a secret from us?"

Marlene gives in.

"Oh alright," she sighs. "You know how I told you we used to have this boys vs. girls prank war thing on the Gryffindor Quidditch Team?"

"Yeah?" They ask curiously.

"Well, Sarah Jenkins found a nasty, gross, and stained jockstrap left behind in the boys' changing room," Marlene cracks smile as she recalls the event.

"And why are you telling us this?" Asks Alice, crinkling her nose.

"Because when we planted it in Black's locker and he thought at first glance, since it _was_ in his locker, it was an chocolate ice cream stain."

"Oh my god!" Everyone cries, attracting many strange looks.

"Don't tell me he—" begins Lily.

The others are thinking the exact same thing.

Marlene nods once with a small smile, "He licked it. Mind you, this jockstrap was brown and jockstraps are supposed to be white—"

"EW!" Shrieks the other girls. Even Remus has to swallow down the bile building up in his mouth.

"Yeah… Black has been deathly afraid of chocolate ice cream ever since. He now runs away screaming in a high-pitched girly voice. It's quite entertaining actually, but don't tell Jenkins, Smith, or Chang I said anything. They'll

"We promise," they lied.

They promise themselves as they make their way back to Hogwarts that someone needs to threaten Sirius with some chocolate ice cream that night.

**xXx**

"Hey Evans, I finally got your 'blow' job removed," smirks James.

Sirius lets out a bark of laughter, but Remus groans and slaps his forehead. Sometimes James does not know when to shut up especially around Lily and her hex-happy friends.

"Potter, there are so many things wrong with you, I don't even know where to begin," sighs Lily. "In fact, I think I might just have to give you a matching body with that inflated head. Right in front of everyone in the Great Hall."

James' eyes widen considerably.

"No! Don't do that everyone will see!" Cries James.

Lily smiles wickedly before she exits into the Great Hall. A soft thud of the giant double doors alerts them that she has left their proximity.

"That was unnecessarily perverted," says Karin bluntly. "Your attempts at dating her will end up badly… like usual."

James shrugs, "I'm an extremely perverted person. Always have been, always will be."

"Not if he ever wants Lily to date him," Remus mutters to Sirius.

They sit next to and around Lily at the Gryffindor Table. Everything is calm and conversation is going smoothly and nicely. The House Cup has been awarded and some happy about it and some aren't. That is the perfect time for Lily to strike back.

She closes her eyes and concentrates. Suddenly, Potter begins to grow once more. He keeps growing and growing until he resembles the size of a baby elephant. The whole hall bursts into applause and laughter and Professor McGonagall looks livid. Lily shoots her friends a discreet thumbs up and grins as James attempts to not be seen. It is nice that for a change he is not gloating in the limelight and is instead embarrassed.

"Who is responsible for this?!" Yells Professor McGonagall over the laughter.

Everyone goes quiet in fear of getting blamed for the inflating. James begins to shrink and go back to his normal size, but his embarrassment doesn't. Naturally, he tries to hide himself behind Sirius.

"Oh my dear professor, you must admit that while that is potentially dangerous to be that size in the Great Hall, it is rather amusing," says Professor Dumbledore with mirth in the smile. Lily can see his eyes twinkling full bore and prevents herself from breaking down right then and there.

"It was not amusing," says Professor McGonagall coldly. "Now, who cast this spell on Mr. Potter?"

"It was Evans, Professor!" calls out James. He smiles wickedly at her and she smiles sweetly back.

"Is this true, Miss Evans?"

Lily does not think Professor McGonagall will be able to stand a Prefect getting in detention. So really, even though she does not like to lie, it is for the elder woman's sake….

"No Professor," replies Lily. "I did not inflate Potter. I have been in the Great Hall eating dinner without using magic and I have several alibis here to prove it. In fact, it was Potter himself who did it."

"But why in Merlin's name would he blow himself up to the size of an elephant himself?" Asks a burly sixth year Ravenclaw boy.

"Yes, as misguided as Potter may be, I seriously— don't you _dare_ say a word, Mr. Black!— doubt he would make up such a horrid spectacle of himself in front of everyone," says Professor McGonagall.

Lily says, "Well, if I was thinking in the shoes of a conceited —_"Hey!"—_ fifteen-year-old boy like Potter; which trust me, would be scary, I'd imagine he was doing it for more publicity. Merlin knows he was at least half as big as the size of his ego."

Professor McGonagall nods, "Mr. Potter, you shall be serving detention with me—"

"When? It's the last day of school and the House Cup has already been awarded," smirks James.

"Very well, after dinner you may help the kitchen staff clean up the dinner plates and cutlery," says Professor McGonagall. "_Without_ any magic."

James gasps and Lily and the Slytherin table laugh at his misfortune. Steadily the hall returns to its loud self, talking about James' horrible punishment and the size he once was.

"How did you get him to inflate without a wand or an incantation?" Asks Karin, impressed.

Lily shrugs. "Easy. I just didn't use them. I've been working on wandless magic for quite some time, but that was the first time I've been successful. Lucky for Potter something worse didn't happen."

Everyone laughs and then James asks, "But how is it, that someone who has never pulled a prank before can possibly evade trouble better than the Marauders?"

"I guess it's just a gift," smirks Lily, high fiving her friends under the table.

"Hmm… you should join us Evans. We could use more than just Moony's brains."

Remus rolls his eyes.

"Sorry, I work alone," says Lily.

Everyone laughs.

"Oh, Black, before I forget–" Marlene picks up some chocolate ice cream. She beat her friends to the punch so that her Quidditch friends wouldn't think she betrayed them. "— would you like some chocolate ice cream?"

Sirius jumps up. "AAAAARGGGH! HELP MEEEE!" He screams in a high-pitched girly voice. He runs all the way up to the Head table and jumps into Dumbledore's lap.

"Why, hello Mr. Black," says Professor Dumbledore serenely, looking down at him in surprise. "Although I do consider us friends, I think our relationship to be more platonic. Am I right?"

The whole hall laughs, especially Lily and her friends and James and his friends.

"I couldn't agree more, sir," says Sirius grinning. "Although, you do have a rather comfy lap." Even Professor McGonagall is having a difficult time keeping a straight face.

"Wonder if Professor McGonagall's jealous," whispers James to Lily.

"Stranger things have happened."

It sure is going to be a quiet summer compared to this. Of course, everyone in the hall will miss it with all their hearts since there is no place like Hogwarts.

**xXx**

Lily and her friends can be found in their dormitory after dinner finishing packing up. Well, the lovable redhead is not packing. She has only left the clothes she is wearing tomorrow, her flannel 'yummy sushi' pajamas; which she's wearing now, and her toiletries out. However, all of her friends, including their other roommate Dorcas, are still packing most of their stuff that they have procrastinated in doing until the last minute.

"How do you guys stand this every year?" Asks Lily, skimming through a Muggle magazine.

She is filling out one of those silly questionnaire's that answers what type of guy you will end up with. Petunia had given it to her four years ago, still in denial that she could be normal, and she has just decided to finally peruse through it. It's a past time of hers.

"It's easy," says Karin. "We procrastinate until the last minute and disregard all of your warnings. It's gotten easier as the years have progressed."

The other three girls snicker as the brunette with a pair of thin glasses sticks her tongue out with a delicate pointer finger against her lower cheek and Lily just rolls her eyes. She calculates her score and finds out what type of guy she will end up with.

"Apparently, I'm going to end up with someone muscular, athletic, and clever," says Lily reading aloud her results. "I wonder who that'll be?"

"Lily, for someone so smart you're so thick," cries Alice laughing.

The other girls are cracking up too.

"Doesn't that just cancel itself out?" Asks Lily.

"Possibly," says all four girls in unison and begin to laugh harder.

"What's so funny?" Asks Lily irritably.

She really doesn't get it, but the girls must repeat this notion once more to the redhead. Although, her short fuse box of a temper isn't always too helpful, but she's not angry enough for the humor to dry up like a river in desert.

"Oh, Lily isn't it obvious? You're going to end up with James!" Cries Marlene.

Lily gives her a look. It expresses her annoyance of the topic at hand.

"We've been through this a million and one times guys! I am not and never will be interested in Potter!"

"But _why_? He's so attractive!" Cries Dorcas lifting her head up from her trunk.

She is an incredibly overweight girl who's not shy in the slightest when it comes to either crumping or twerking her heart out. The girl also has pretty carmel colored skin, milky brown eyes, and she dyed a purple streak in her dark jet black hair. Her and Lily's group have always gotten on well, which is good considering they have to live in the same room. However, Dorcas can be a bit too much for them at times.

"Not really," says Lily honestly. "But whenever someone does something I don't like they become ugly in my mind. And if you think he's so attractive why don't you go out with him?"

Dorcas shrugs like she's considered going to third base with him right in the Common Room in front of everyone. Which internally frightens the other girls, except Karin who simple doesn't care about such things.

"Eh, it's not like I haven't though about it. But, I got my eyes on somebody else," she wriggles her thin and perfectly plucked eyebrows, and the girls' eyes light up.

"Ohh! Who? Who?" Asks Alice excitedly.

Dorcas turns a deep maroon now at being called out on it and Lily's interest peaks. It must be someone interesting if Dorcas is this embarrassed. Or perhaps she is afraid that one of them already liked this person. The latter is more likely.

"Remus Lupin," she finally gets out.

Marlene and Alice's eyes light up immediately, but Lily bites her lip and looks over at Karin.

Karin had told Lily at the beginning of the year that she has had strong feelings for Remus since the beginning of their third year. You see, Karin is a blunt girl, but there's only one area where she doesn't speak her mind: boys. Boys cause her to lock her trap and try not to look like a fool. Her friends tease her about it all the time in a very playful way.

Right now while Marlene and Dorcas are discussing how cute Remus is as well as his sweetness, Karin seems to have detached herself and is trying her usual cool indifference. Lily catches her eye though and gives her a reassuring smile. It is only a matter of time before Remus sees Karin as more than a friend, hopefully. They have gotten on fairly good terms this year and Lily is almost _positive _that he would choose her over Dorcas. Not to say that Dorcas is not neato chick and nice in her own right too, but there is just something about Karin that is unique and special. She's one of a kind.

All of a sudden there is a frantic knock on the door followed by some more banging.

"Come in!" Lily shouts over the noise.

The three excited girls fall silent. The door opens and in the doorway stands a frantic Mary MacDonald. She has just recovered from what had happened the other day with the Slytherins.

"Lily, you've got to come! He's saying he'll sleep outside the Fat Lady if he has—" begins Mary clearly flustered.

"Whoa, whoa, slow down Mary," says Lily. "Who's saying they'll sleep outside the Fat Lady?"

Mary takes a deep breath, "Severus Snape."

Lily's roommates gasp, but Lily expects something like this. She just closes her eyes patiently and tries not to let the sting in her heart become visible to the other girls. It's a sore spot she doesn't think will ever fade.

"Lead me to him, please."

She closes the door behind her and Mary and walks down to the Common Room to find it crowded. Apparently other people have passed Severus on there way in and are panicking. She can't blame them.

"Lily! He's say's he going to—"

"—Sleep out there!"

"Are you going to—"

"—Stop him from doing it?"

"Calm down, everyone!" Orders Lily, and the Common Room falls silent. "All of you, go up to your dormitories and I will take care of my own business. Thank you."

Everyone runs upstairs to avoid the approaching scene for fear of another blow out like the other day. Lily opens the door and sees Severus out there. The redhead is not amused.

"What are you doing out here?" Asks Lily coolly.

Severus takes a deep breath, "I'm sorry."

"I'm not interested."

"I'm sorry!"

"Save your breath," she crosses her arms and looks bitterly at him. "I only came out because Mary told me you were threatening to sleep here."

"I was. I would have done. I never meant to call you a Mudblood, it just—"

"Slipped out?" There is no pity in Lily's voice. "It's too late. I've made excuses for you for years. None of my friends can understand why I even talk to you. You and your precious little Death Eater friends— you see, you don't even deny it! You don't even deny that's what you're aiming to be! You can't wait to join You-Know-Who, can you?" He opens his mouth, but closes it without speaking. "I can't pretend anymore. You've chosen your way, I've chosen mine."

"No, listen, I didn't mean—"

"—to call me a Mudblood? But you call everyone of my birth Mudblood, Severus. Why should I be any different?"

He struggles on the verge of speech, but with a contemptuous look she turns and climbs back through the portrait hole. As she walks up through the Common Room there's but one person left in the room, she wipes her eyes that are now puffy, red, and irritated. The teen can't see her face, but attempts to speak to her.

"Evans," James calls and his voice for once isn't full of arrogance.

Lily turns around. Her red hair that's a little bit past her shoulders flips in her face before it settles around her face. She's livid and she doesn't wish to speak to Potter of all the toe rags. Her emotions are all over the place and she doesn't want Potter to see her in such a vulnerable and weak state of being.

"What do you want now?" Her voice is hard but still racked with emotion.

"I riled Snivellus up. I… wasn't thinking and I didn't think—"

"It doesn't matter, Potter. Severus is no longer my friend. Just drop it."

She begins to walk away with James watching every detail of her retreating figure. Sometimes he wonders if he'll ever use his thinking cap when it comes to her. His intentions aren't to hurt Lily… ever. However, when he bullies Slytherins that are her friends it hurts her and causes consequences like the ones tonight. Lily drives James crazy; she makes his arrogance spike higher and higher and then she delivers blows directly to his ego when she insults him or turns him down. He doesn't know why he doesn't just cut his losses and move on, but she's a challenge and he always accepts challenges.

"Lily, what happened?" Marlene asks anxiously.

Lily shakes her head and sits down.

"Are you okay, Lily?" Asks Alice concerned. She sits down next to her. "Did Snape do something to you?"

"I-I finalized the end of my— our friendship," chokes out Lily.

Fresh tears pour from her eyes and onto the carpeted floor.

"Lily, it is okay, you are better off without him," consoles Karin. "You have friends that are not terrible influences. He will probably die without you since he enjoys the dark arts so much."

"KARIN!" Dorcas, Marlene, and Alice shout.

Karin jumps at the yell of her name. She doesn't know what she did wrong; it's true, so she doesn't understand why her name was shrieked in her ears.

"What? Why does everyone always shout my name? I am not deaf! I can take a hint," she says. She pauses and then asks sheepishly. "What is the hint?"

"To shut up!" They shout.

It causes a small smile to appear on Lily's lips, but she's still miserable. She ended a long lasting friendship and it was the longest friendship she ever had.

"I'm tired, I think I'm going to go to bed," says Lily, not wanting to talk about it. The others nod and get off of her bed. "I'll talk to you guys in the morning."

She draws her curtains but does not fall asleep. Instead she listens to the voices of her concerned friends on the other side. She cannot hear what they are saying exactly but she knows that it is about her and her recent non-friendship with Severus.

Fresh tears come to the surface when she thinks about this and she tries in vain to keep them at bay. Eventually she settles for letting them fall and she silently cries until there are no more left. She listens to the soothing sound of Marlene's easy breathing and soon thereafter falls into an uneasy sleep full of dreams of Severus calling her a Mudblood and Potter hexing him into oblivion.

**Author's Note: I hope all of you have enjoyed this chapter. It's been awhile since I've updated and I realize that. Sorry about that. :—) Anyways, I hope you follow, favorite, and leave a review. Even if it's something like 'update soon' it always brings a smile to my face and motivates me to update quicker. Well bye-bye. :—D**


	3. Crying and Wedding Crashing

**|Chapter Three— Crying and Wedding Crashing|**

When Lily wakes up the next day she is not in the best of spirits. At first she cannot remember why she is so unhappy, but then yesterday's events come crashing back. So that is why after Lily and her friends eat a hasty breakfast, they jump onto the train and park their stuff right next to the Prefect's compartment. In other words, as far away from Marauders and Severus.

"Ugh, Lily," groans Karin. "Why do we always have to sit right next to the Prefects? We sit here so much we might as well dub this 'The Lily Evans Compartment'."

Lily grins for the first time that morning.

She says, "See, I have a theory that actually happens to be true. Potter and his circ de loon are probably the biggest pranksters Hogwarts has seen thus far, right?"

"I would hope so since they have caused more mayhem than all the years combined," says Marlene. Her arms are crossed over her chest and her face is in its usual expressionless state.

"Well, being the Marauders that they are, I know for a fact that they would like to sit as far from the Prefects as they can. That's in the very back and this way, we're no where near them."

"For someone who hates James Potter, you seem to put quite a bit of thought into avoiding him," Karin says truthfully.

Lily blushes furiously, but Alice intervenes thankfully.

"Speaking of Prefects, Lily," she says. "Don't you have an end of the year meeting?"

Lily gasps. How could she have forgotten?

"Oh, no! I'll be back in a little while guys," she zooms out of the compartment and next door. The only occupant, however, is Remus.

"Hey Lily," he greets.

"Hey Remus," she says, sitting down across from him. "Looking forward to going to Potter's house?"

They fall into conversation with ease.

Remus replies, "Yes. It's great there, Mr. and Mrs. Potter are so nice."

"Hmm, I wonder where James gets his cockiness from then," ponders Lily.

Remus smirks, "Actually, James is a lot like his father. They both can be characters and if James turns out to be like him when he's older, he'll definitely mellow with age."

Lily laughs as the other Prefects come in. She briefly catches Severus' eye and after a moment looks away again. It is going to be different this summer. She won't have a friend to lean on.

The Prefects stay for a bit and listen to the Head Boy and Girl thanking them for a 'great year' and then listen as they give out instructions for patrolling. Thankfully, Lily is paired with Remus and not with Severus like she usually is.

"Can we not patrol by your compartment?" Begs Lily. "I'm not in the mood to see Potter right now."

"James really isn't a bad guy, Lily," implores Remus. "He just doesn't think before he acts and has the proclivity to… act like a prat around you. The guy can't help it."

Lily snorts, "Tell me something I don't know."

They quickly turn around once they reach the general area of the Marauders compartment. She's avoiding them like the plague.

"The ironic thing is that that's the area we'd most likely have to patrol," says Remus trying to lighten the mood. It works and Lily laughs.

"So, did I tell you about the upcoming wedding?"

Remus looks at her nonplussed.

"You're getting married?" He jokes, and Lily rolls her eyes.

"Yeah right. No, not yet," she teases. "Petunia is though."

Remus' eyes nearly bulge out of his head.

"What? Who would marry her?"

"Vernon Dursley," she says, making a face, and Remus snorts.

"Lovely name," he says sarcastically. Lily grins and then her entire face lights up, an idea coming to her. "What?" He asks her.

"Would you like to come?" She asks. "I could use all the moral support I can get." She has an ulterior motive for this though.

Remus looks surprised at the invitation, but replies almost immediately.

"I'd love to. Will your parents be okay with it though?"

"I'm sure they will. I'll ask them on the way home and then send you an owl."

For the rest of their patrol they walk back and forth talking about the wedding and Lily telling him the ridiculous things her Mum has said Petunia is doing. It's a barrel of laughs. They talk for a good fifteen minutes until they realize their shift is over.

"Come on, it's time to tell Snape and Avery that it their turn to patrol."

Lily grimaces, but follows Remus back to the Prefect's compartment.

"It's your turn to patrol," says Remus to Severus and Avery.

The two glower at him, but when Severus sees Lily is there, he directs his stare at her. She avoids him though. Avery, however, turns to see what his friend is staring at and smirks.

"Miss your little friend, Snape?" He asks mockingly.

Remus reaches for his wand, but Lily stops him.

"Don't bother," she says. "They're not worth it."

Avery smirks, "Do you hear that, Severus? The little bitch thinks we're not worth her time! Isn't irony amusing?"

"Stop it, Avery," says Severus quietly. "Let's just go patrol." Avery ignores him though.

"Where do you get all those scars from, Lupin? I don't buy that you go home every month to visit your mother. You hiding something?"

Remus glares at him, but his face looks considerably paler.

"Sod off Avery," he growls (no pun intended). "Don't you have to go and stick your head up Voldemort's arse? I hear you once went so far that you came out of his mouth."

Lily laughs and Avery glares furiously at Remus.

"You still didn't answer the question though," continues Avery, regaining his composure.

"I didn't realize Remus' business was of your concern," says Lily coolly.

Avery's head snaps towards Lily. She does not flinch or back up though, but she continues to glare defiantly at him. She only falters when he begins looking her up and down, checking her out thoroughly. That pig!

"How dare you speak to me, you filthy little Mudblood!"

She snaps. After putting up with years and years of their torment and name calling, she's had it. What causes this time to be different than all the others is the simple fact that Severus isn't doing anything at all to defend her this time. It just fuels her hate fire. Their friendship truly is broken and gone.

"You!" Like lightening, Lily whips out her wand. "You foul loathsome evil little bastard!" She has him back up against the window, her wand pointed at his throat.

Remus implores, "Lily no! He's not worth it!"

Her blazing emerald eyes lose some of its fire at the sight before them. Erebus Avery is whimpering, sniffling, and has tears rimming his eyes. Who's the bitch now?

She lowers her wand. Lily begins to turn away, realizing that he's not worth her time or anger. That is the case until Avery begins chuckling to Severus. That sets off her rage once more. She turns around and clocks him right in the jaw. Lily causes Avery's head to hit the back of the window and break the glass. Avery is crying out in pain as he sinks to the floor.

Severus and Remus are shocked.

Lily gives both Avery and Severus one last contemptuous look and turns on her heel to head back to her compartment with Remus on her tail. She walks in and her friends look up automatically.

"Hey Lily and Remus, what's—" begins Alice. "What's wrong?"

Remus looks at Lily and notices she is now crying. He wraps his arm around her and sits down.

"Oh Lily, don't cry," whispers Remus. "They're just arrogant assholes."

"W-why on earth sh-should I not cry?" She gasps.

She is about to continue, but her tears render her speechless. She cannot say anything else. Suddenly, the door opens and James stands there looking confused.

"There you are Moony," He says not noticing Lily's sobs.

"Get out of here, Potter!" Lily snaps, reverting back to her defensive self. She does not want the likes of James Potter witnessing her at a weak moment.

James turns to look at her and looks taken aback by the tears in her eyes. Clearly, he did not expected her to be so upset or even capable of being so. She is typically not a cryer.

"Evans! What's wrong?" He asks, genuinely sounding concerned.

Lily disregards this though, "Leave Potter, I don't need you here to pour salt in my wounds."

James looks hurt by her assumption and comes to sit down anyway.

"Please Lily, don't cry," begs Alice. "I hate seeing you upset."

The others nod in agreement.

She tries to lighten the mood, "C-can I have s-some new advice?"

They all laugh weakly.

"Evans, what's wrong?" James reiterates.

Before she can respond to him or tell him to get out again, Sirius and Peter appear in the doorway.

"What's everyone doing in—" begins Peter, and then his gaze and Sirius' falls on Lily. They both cry, "Evans! What's wrong? Don't cry!"

Lily gives a shaky laugh, "Yeah, I think we're all on the same p-page!"

The whole room guffaws, except for Sirius and Peter who look puzzled. They get over it though and sit down across from Lily.

"Lily, what happened?" They ask.

Lily wipes her eyes before replying, "We were patrolling the corridors when we were going back to tell Severus and Avery that it was their turn," she explains. "Then—"

Words fail her.

Remus sighs, "Long story short, Avery called her a 'filthy little Mudblood'," Alice and Karin gasp; Marlene quirks an eyebrow; and Sirius, Peter, and James growl.

"I'm so going to kill him," growls James.

Lily looks up alarmed.

"No, Potter, please don't!" Says Lily in anguish.

The whole room is shocked. "What?"

"Why are you protecting that bastard?" He asks outraged, and the others look confused as well.

"I don't want anyone to get themselves in trouble because I got a little bent out of shape for being called that… that word. Just leave him be!"

James ignores her though and stands up abruptly.

"Where are you going?" Asks Sirius confused.

"I have some business to attend to," is all he says.

With that, he walks out of the compartment.

"Oh dear," sighs Lily. "This isn't going to be pretty is it?"

The other shrug, but not before hearing a crack and seeing a flash of light come from the Prefects carriage. Uh-oh.

"What was that?" Asks Alice, scared.

"Potter and his business he needs to take care of," Karin says bluntly. "My guess is that he has rearranged Avery's face."

With that possibility at hand, they all run out of their compartment to see Severus crouching down below a slug form of what must have been Avery. They also see a white-faced James, his wand still pointing unwaveringly at Avery.

"Potter! What have you done to him?!" Shrieks Lily.

James turns to face them all, "May you feast your eyes upon Exhibit A. This is the result when someone calls Miss Lily Evans that vulgar name. Plus, his mother will probably like him better this way."

"My punching his face through a window was efficient enough," says Lily, annoyed.

"Apparently not considering you got that upset," replies James, and Lily scowls.

He is interrupted by a growl from behind him. It is Severus.

"Turn him right Potter," he snarls, "or I'll report you to the Head Boy."

James smirks. "That's it? Ooh, scary! The big bad Head Boy will get me! Listen here, Snivellus, I don't give a damn about who knows Avery's fate. For all its worth, go tell the Head Boy. He'd be on my side over yours!"

Severus glares at him and says nothing because he knows James is right. However, he does not leave either and instead takes out his wand.

"You're such an arrogant swine, Potter," he sneers, his wand trained on him. "Maybe one day you'll look at yourself in the mirror and realize that you're not all you think you are. That is, of course, unless the mirror cracks first from your ugly, son-of-a-bitch face."

Lily, Alice, and Karin gasp; Marlene still has her arms crossed over her chest and still looks seemingly bored; and the boys all brandish their wands, except for Peter, who hides behind Marlene.

"Do you mind?" Marlene says. She turns her head towards Peter with a slightly annoyed look. Peter backs away from her.

James points his wand threateningly at Severus' face.

"Give me a reason," he snarls. "Give me a reason and I swear I'll do it."

Severus seems to be weighing his chances of escape. They do not look too good considering how many he is up against.

"No Evans to save you now, Snivellus," says James. "No one to protect you now. Isn't that right, Evans?"

Lily says nothing. She does not want anyone to get hurt because of her, but she also does not want to get involved. Severus has proved how little he values their friendship. She is not going to help him get out of these situations anymore.

James turns back to face Severus who seems to realize that Lily is done. James, however, lowers his wand.

"Get out of here," he spits.

With one last glare of utter loathing, Severus picks up a slimy Avery and stalks out of the compartment.

"Lucky no one else was here to see that except us of course," whispers Karin.

James turns and looks at her.

"Didn't you hear me? I wouldn't have cared if the Headmaster had been here watching," says James, the color slowly returning to his face. "Come on, the trains slowing down. We must be back in London."

The eight goes and begin to drag their trunks and animals off of the train to put them into carriages like they have done for so many years. Two at a time, they casually lean against the platform and slip their way back into the Muggle community at King's Cross.

"Mum! Dad!" Cries Lily, running over to her parents.

"Tiger Lily!" Exclaims her Dad, John Evans, lifting her up since she is still that light.

Her mother hugs her happily too and allows her husband to put Lily down. It's one big happy family, excluding Petunia.

"I missed you guys," whispers Lily, not paying attention to anyone else in the station.

"We've missed you too, honey," says her Mum, Rose Evans. "How was your year? You only have two more left, correct?"

Lily nods, "It was great! Being a Prefect is terrific!" She suddenly looks around and next to her parents. "Tuney wouldn't come again?"

Her mother nods her head sadly and her father suddenly looks angry.

"Her exact words?" Asks Lily gently.

"'Why would I want to go near a place with a bunch of freaks? They're all freaky and plus, I have to prepare for the wedding!'" Recites John. His face is now flushed with anger.

Lily sighs and rolls her eyes just as her friends walk over.

"Hello Mr. and Mrs. Evans," says Marlene in her same neutral tone of voice. She is the only one of Lily's friends whom has met the Evans' before. In fact, Petunia was so shocked that someone so 'normal' was a friend of her sister that she dubbed Marlene 'all right'.

"Hello Marlene," says Rose, smiling at the blonde girl. She looks then at her daughter's other friends. "Oh, let me guess now! You must be Alice and you must be Karin!"

Both girls giggle and Lily shakes her head in amusement.

"It's the other way around Mum!"

"Oh, well you must forgive me, girls. It has been a while since I was as young and clever as this one here," she looks pointedly at Lily, who sticks her tongue out playfully, and her friends laugh.

"We'll meet you by the car, dear," John says, taking her carriage. Lily nods and turns to her friends as her parents walk away.

"I meant to ask you guys earlier, can any of you come to Petunia's wedding?" Lily asks them hopefully.

"I wish," sighs Alice. "My parents applied me for an internship at the Ministry all summer so I won't be able to leave."

"And you know my Mum," Karin says with a grimace, and Lily sighs. Mrs. Smith is one of the most freaky religious types that Lily has ever met. The woman, of course, was livid and when she found out that her daughter was a witch. She thinks Karin and her fellow wizardkind are devil worshipers. Lily figures Petunia and Mrs. Smith would get along swimmingly.

"Marlene?"

"Of course," she says with a small smile, and Lily beams. "I'm free all summer, when would you like me to come?"

"I'll ask my parents, I'm sure in the next week though since the wedding is at on June thirtieth, twenty days away. I'll send an owl reminding you of my address," a passerby whom had heard the term 'send you an owl' shakes his head as if to unjumble his thoughts and keeps walking. "Anyway, I'll see you on the 30th and I'll write to the rest of you," says Lily, hugging her friends. "Bye!" She says, waving to them as she walks out of King's Cross to find her parents' car.

**xXx**

The street leading off of Spinners End is typically quiet, peaceful, and relaxed. Each house has at least one or two kids but they are all well behaved for the most part. That is why on June twenty-ninth it is a surprise to hear a loud shriek emit from the Evans' house.

"WHAT?" Shrieks Petunia Evans.

You can hear her no matter what part of the house you are in. Whether it is the attic, Lily's room, or perhaps the worst: the kitchen.

"Looks like my Mum told her about—" begins Lily, but then stops short.

She is in her room gossiping with Marlene. She has arrived about six days ago today and the two have been trying to stay out of Petunia's hair. It has proved challenging. First, it was how the wedding table clothes were all wrong. As Petunia pointed out, the frill is supposed to be at the bottom, not the whole cloth itself. Then it was the bridesmaids' dresses. Petunia had originally wanted to go with pink, but had to settle for gold since Lily had red hair and pink would clash horribly with it. This annoyed her off the most and had led to an all out row between Petunia and their parents. And now, it is the fact that Remus is coming to the wedding, but Marlene still does not know this. In Petunia's mind, he is now going to be a wedding crasher of the century and now the whole wedding is ruined.

"Petunia, calm down!" Shouts Rose Evans. "Everything will be fine!"

"How could she invite him to my wedding?" Screams Petunia.

Marlene looks at her confused, but Lily pretends like she does not see her. Instead she listens to the argument coming from downstairs.

"You're fine with Marlene being here and she's like him too."

"Yes, but Marlene's normal!" Cries Petunia. "I still don't understand why she's friends with—"

"PETUNIA SARAH EVANS!" Shrieks Rose. "HOLD YOUR TONGUE AND DON'T YOU DARE FINISH THAT SENTENCE!"

"I'm just saying that—" begins Petunia, a little deflated.

"SILENCE!" Roars John Evans.

"The good thing about your parents yelling so loud is that you don't even have to try hard to listen," Marlene says attempting to joke a little and Lily smiles weakly.

"I HAVE HAD ENOUGH OF THIS CRAP! NO FRILLS, PINK DRESSES, WIZARDS, GOLD…ENOUGH! MAYBE IT'S JUST MY INNER MALE SPEAKING, BUT THIS IS GETTING RIDICULOUS! PETUNIA SARAH EVANS, I SWEAR TO GOD, YOU HAD BETTER GET YOUR ACT TOGETHER OR I WILL NOT HESITATE IN PUTTING AN END TO THIS WEDDING!"

The whole house is deadly silent. Lily has never heard her dad so livid before and is shaking in fear. Marlene hesitates slightly before she hugs her tightly.

There is no more argument, but only footsteps to be heard going up and down the hallway and stairs. If Lily was only able to use magic she would have locked her door for what happened next.

Petunia opens the door and sticks her tear-streaked, red-face in. She hisses, "Lily Whitney Evans, I swear to god, you are the biggest freak I've ever met!" She slams the door and leaves Lily and Marlene shocked. Before she can stop, Lily succumbs to tears and Marlene immediately begins to comfort her. This so far is one hell of a summer….

**xXx**

This is sure one hell of a summer for James Potter, but not in a bad way like it has been so far for a certain redhead he knows. It all started on June twenty-third at around midnight. The doorbell rang and James, being the lightest sleeper, stumbles out of bed and down the stairs. He, however, misses one of the steps and somersaults the rest of the way down, landing painfully on his backside.

"Who the hell is calling at one in the morning?" He mutters.

He opens the door and is face-to-face with a soaked-to-the-core Sirius Black. He immediately comes out of his trance and helps his friend bring his trunk and broomstick in.

"C-Can I stay here?" He asks, averting his eyes from James.

"Of course," James replies.

Sirius is like a brother to him. In fact, they pretty much are brothers since they are both the purest of Purebloods. Not that that matters to either of them. James knows from the expression on his best mate's face that he is serious (no pun intended) on staying here. He also knows that Sirius cannot go back to his rotten family where there are blood obsessed parents, a psychotic house-elf from hell, and a Death Eater wannabe for a younger brother. James is glad Sirius decides to come to his house. It is either that or changing just so he would not be miserable and start to be horrible to his friends or become a homicidal maniac and murdering the lot of them in their sleep. James prefers the actual situation best.

Charlus and Dorea Potter take Sirius in with open arms. They already have three children, previously four but Voldemort killed their eldest, but they have always wanted to take him to stay since the first time they met him. They know that he is nothing like his parents whom they whole-heartedly do not approve of. The only reason they know the Blacks is because, being Purebloods, they all traveled within the same inner circle and with James' Dad being the Minister, it is hard to avoid them.

xXx

"Hey Lily?" Marlene says as they are wandering the street.

"Mhm?"

"Who did you invite that Petunia freaked out about? You forgot to tell me the other day."

Lily has not forgotten at all. In fact, she is banking on the hope that Marlene, herself, has forgotten. She wants it to be a surprise, but there is really no way in avoiding it now.

"I invited Remus."

Marlene falters in her step and she stops completely. Lily notices this a few steps ahead and stops as well. She looks back at her friend a little sheepishly.

"Pardon? I could have sworn I heard you say that you invited Remus. As in Remus Lupin."

"You heard right," grins Lily, and Marlene stares at her incredulously.

"Lily!"

"What? This is the perfect opportunity for you guys to connect!"

Marlene's eyes narrow into slits. "So, that's why you invited him? So you could set us up?"

Lily shifts uneasily and Marlene groans.

"What's the problem?" Lily asks confused. "You two would be perfect together."

Marlene sighs and runs her fingers through her hair.

"I've told you and the others a many times that I do not like Lupin that way. I'm getting really sick of you guys trying to get me and him to be together. He is a nice boy and if we had the opportunity to hang out more often we'd probably be good friends."

It is very similar to Lily and James situation. However, the exception is that Marlene doesn't despise Remus and Remus isn't particularly into Marlene. As far as they know.

"Marlene Grace McKinnon, you two are absolutely perfect for each other," Lily says putting her hands on her hips. Marlene snorts. "I swear I need to just push you two in a closet and let you two get together."

"I could say the sam thing about you and Potter, you know when he isn't being an idiot," she says a little playfully.

Her face flushes cherry red and she clears her throat uncomfortably, "In any event," she coughs and then begins again, "things will go perfectly at the wedding and you want to know why? Because you're my best friend and I know you can do anything that you set your mind to!"

They begin walking again. Marlene smiles at her best friend and silently agrees that things will go perfectly. However, she is not referring to how things will go with Remus. No, she is concocting a plan that will for sure work. All she has to do is get permission from the Evans'…

**xXx**

James wakes up one sunny morning and opens his eyes blearily. He nearly has a heart attack when he realizes his owl is on top of him.

"Owl! Get off of me!" He cries.

Yes, he named his owl, Owl but in his defense he was two. Then getting out of bed, he strides over to where the owl is now residing and takes the letter off of its talon. When he unfolds it and reads its contents he nearly drops it out the window.

Dear Potter,

How's your summer going? As you may or may not know, Lily's sister Petunia is getting married this summer…

James' eyebrows shoot up at this. From all he has heard of Petunia, he seriously questions the sanity of the bloke marrying her.

… I would like to invite you to attend this wedding on the thirtieth of June at two o'clock sharp, come at noon. Black tie required.

Hope you are well,

Marlene McKinnon

P.S. Lily has already invited Remus so you can tag along as guests.

P.P.S. Lily does not know about this so don't tell her!

P.P.P.S. Sorry, this is the last one! I attached Lily's address on a separate sheet of parchment.

James looks for the parchment, but cannot find it anywhere. He concludes that it must have gotten lost in his bird's trip and is about to write a letter back to Marlene asking for it when he realizes that Remus probably has it.

"Morning," greets a groggy Sirius. "Ready to go down for breakfast?"

"Yeah, in a second," James says absentmindedly.

He looks down at the letter again.

"What's that?"

"An invitation to Petunia Evans' wedding."

Sirius arches an eyebrow, "Evans invited you to her house?"

James shakes his head, "No, Marlene did. Remus had already been invited and Lily does not know about my invite."

Sirius pouts his signature puppy-dog pout, "Little Marley didn't invite me?" Then he grins devilishly. "Oh, then we must go." James nods in agreement and Sirius begins to whimper. "Come on mate, let's go eat! I'm hungry!"

"You're always hungry." He follows Sirius, however, and the two of them follow the smell of eggs and bacon.

**xXx**

Mr. and Mrs. Potter wisely stay out of the boys' way during their time before the wedding. They run around the Manor and their property like a herd of rhinoceros', they set of pranks on James' siblings— particularly his younger sister— like there is no tomorrow, they ate the amount of food the whole Great Hall could eat, and they ordered Zonko Products by the dozen. But throughout it all James is incredibly distracted by the prospect of seeing Lily this summer. He has always hoped that this kind of thing would happen. However, he is also worried about how she would react to two extra people there and to add to that… two people she wishes would jump in the lake with the squid.

"Prongs mate, calm down," says Sirius on the twenty-ninth. Remus is coming today and the three are going to go shopping for tuxes ("You never know when you'll need one," points out James). They had filled Remus in on the new plan and although he seemed hesitant, he agreed to join them in looking for tuxes.

Remus is coming by Floo Powder, so James is pacing in front of the fireplace and Sirius is sitting irritated in a chair.

"Siriusly Prongs, calm down," teases Sirius, and James groans.

"How many times have we told you that that pun died many moons ago?" Sirius counts on three of his fingers before answering.

"Seventeen thousand six hundred and seventy nine times, today," says Sirius grinning. James rolls his eyes and resumes pacing. "Did anyone ever tell you that if you keep rolling your eyes they're one day going to roll out of your head?"

"No, but I'll keep that in mind," murmurs James. "Where's Moony? He's late!"

"No he isn't, Prongs," implores Sirius. "He actually would be ten minutes early if he arrived now."

James sighs. "Maybe I'm overreacting about this wedding."

Sirius stares at him incredulously, "Maybe? James, you tried to actually tame your hair. Your untamable hair! You're nine miles past overreacting!"

James rolls his eyes, "Thanks Padfoot, I can always count on you to make me feel better."

"All I'm saying is, tone it down, like, several notches," says Sirius, leaning forward in his chair. "Just because you're taking this wedding crazy serious doesn't mean Lily will necessarily look at you any differently. Especially because she didn't invite you and I mean, it's the wedding for the sister she loathes!"

James sighs again, "You're right. Fine, I'll try and calm down."

All of a sudden green flames materialize in the fireplace and out of it appears a brutally scarred Remus.

James jumps up, "Where have you been? We've been waiting for you!"

Sirius slaps his forehead with the palm of his hand and Remus looks puzzled at James.

"Ignore him, Moony," says Sirius getting up to help with Remus' trunk and owl cage. "He's going through PLM."

"What's PLM?" Asks Remus.

He has a feeling he does not want to know.

"Pre-Lily Madness," explains Sirius, and Remus laughs. James glares at the pair of them.

"Come on! We need to go shopping for tuxes!"

"OI! Keep your pants on, Prongsie!"

"Is Remus here?" Asks Dorea walking down the stairs. "Hello, Remus dear!"

"Hello, Mrs. Potter," says Remus politely.

"I've told you a million times Remus, call me Dorea," she says, smiling fondly at him. "It's never stopped Sirius here."

"Ah, Dorea, one day you'll fall madly in love with me and run off when Mr. Potter isn't watching," teases Sirius.

"What's this I hear?" Asks Charlus Potter walking in through the front door. "Sirius trying to steal my wife again?"

"Of course not Charlus, 'ol pal," smirks Sirius. He turns back to Dorea and winks though.

"Come on, Padfoot, enough flirting with my mum," laughs James. "She's way too old for you anyway."

"Excuse me?" Says Dorea narrowing her eyes playfully.

"Err– I love you mummy," says James batting his eyes. Dorea playfully smacks her third youngest on the arm and helps her husband get his coat off.

"We're going to go shopping for tuxes now, so we'll be back later tonight," James tells his parents. "We can catch something to eat in the village."

"Okay, be careful," says Dorea.

"Aren't I always?"

"Do I really have to dignify that with a response?"

**xXx**

The next day, the Evans' house is full of mayhem. They are all running around preparing for the wedding and so far Petunia has been reduced to tears five times. It is only ten in the morning.

"Hey Mum, can I ask you something?" Asks Lily, walking into the kitchen alone.

Currently, Marlene is still asleep.

"Sure honey," replies Rose.

"Do you and Daddy really like Vernon?"

Rose stops polishing the cabinets mid-wipe and sighs.

"No, I can't say that we do," she says, starting again.

"Then you don't think he's a good match for Tuney?"

Rose shakes her head, "On the contrary, I think he's a perfect match for Petunia. Your sister has always wanted to lead a normal life and so has Vernon as I'm sure we can all see. I think he'll be able to give her that life she has always wanted."

Lily nods and leaves her Mum to clean and goes upstairs to wake Marlene….

Later, as Lily and Marlene got dressed, they talked about how they still cannot believe Petunia is getting married.

"I still can't believe it," says Lily as Marlene helps her zip her gold dress. "I always imagined the day my sister got married, well– I'd actually want to be in the reception."

Marlene smiles sadly, "It'll be fine. Remus and I will be there to support you and he's a polite guy, so your sister shouldn't have a cow… or should I say the entire farm," Marlene reasons and Lily laughs.

"Yes, I imagine he'll be a right sight politer than Vernon," Lily laughs. Marlene had met Vernon last night and saw her lips twitching in amusement.

Marlene says, "That's the spirit." She smiles to herself at the thought of another Marauders being there to be with her best friend. Lily will be so shocked and Rose and John had approved him coming. She had made them promise not to tell Lily since it was a 'surprise' for her.

They both laugh and finish dressing and putting their makeup on. Once they have finished primping they walk down the stairs taking mind not to twist their ankles in their high heels of destruction.

"You two look beautiful!" Gushes Rose. "Here, let me take some pictures."

Lily and Marlene stand next to each other with their arms around the other's shoulders. They grin and on three the camera flashes. Several flashes later Lily can swear she has never smiled so long before in her life.

"If you give me a copy I could put them into a Potion and make them move," says Lily. She knows how much her parents love the moving photographs in the Wizarding World.

"Yes, there's nothing freaky at all about moving pictures," sneers Petunia. "Totally normal!"

Lily glares at her sister. Her parents look between the two of them uneasily. This is supposed to be a special day, but Petunia always manages to ruin one.

Lily then decides to do the thing that will annoy her sister the most. She approaches her, noting the fear in her Petunia's eyes.

"I'm happy for you and I can't wait to see you and Vernon get married today," says Lily, feigning sweetness and batting eyes. She smiles at Petunia's shocked face and walks past her. If anything, it will make her sister come out worse and her smelling like a… well, like a lily flower. If nothing else, it will successfully shut Petunia up for the rest of the day.

She walks out of the kitchen with Marlene and out to the yard where there are people setting up chairs and a marquee. Lily has never been to a wedding before, or if she had been she was too young to remember it. She wonders what her own wedding will look like. She supposes different in that it will be a Wizarding wedding and not a Muggle one. Marlene shakes her out of her thoughts.

"Lily? Did you hear me?" Asks Marlene. Lily turns to look at Marlene like she is seeing her for the first time.

"Sorry, I must have been daydreaming," says Lily apologetically. "What did you say?"

"I was asking whether or not you knew what time Remus is coming?"

"Oh, well the wedding starts at two and I think he wrote that he'd be here around noon," replies Lily. She looks at the clock visible in the kitchen. It is now quarter to noon!

"He should be coming in fifteen minutes then," says Marlene. Everyone always finds her difficult to read. They say she has expressionless icy blue eyes and that she lacks a personality. But, Lily can see past her cold, reserved, and badass layers and see her true colors. There's something she's nervous about.

"What are you nervous about Marls?" Lily asks.

The blonde's lips quirk and she looks up almost shyly at her best friend, "Nothing, it's just been a stressful day I guess." She's reluctant on expressing why because the surprise will be ruined.

Lily is about to question Marlene further on the subject until they both hear a distant pop.

"That should be him!" Squeals Lily. "Remus said that Mr. Potter would bring him by Side-Long Apparation. You go meet him, I have to go in to make sure the cake is okay."

Marlene nods curtly and walks around the side of the house where the gate is. She nearly stumbles when she comes face-to-face with the most handsome man she had ever seen. She tries to keep her heart from exploding out of her chest.

"Hey Marlene," says the boys in unison.

She looks absolutely stunning, so Sirius feels compelled to say, "You look great." Plus, he hopes that it will effectively make her forget that he is not invited.

"Thanks, you don't look too bad yourself," she says with a tiny smirk.

"Thank you, m'lady," Sirius says taking her hand and kissing it while looking her in the eyes. He then says in the same teasing tone, "You are a wonderful hostess."

Marlene pulls her hand back from his and crosses her arms over her chest. Her eyes are slightly narrowed and she says truthfully, "And you are a terrible artist."

"Is that the only thing that makes me terrible?" He says with a broad smirk that typically makes all the girls swoon.

Marlene does not know who all these girls are, but she knows that she isn't one of them. She says in her same neutral tone, "I'm still debating…."

"Hey, that's good enough for me," he shrugs with a wink. Marlene ignores him.

She lets him, James, and Remus in and they all stand transfixed in the backyard.

"You look like you've seen a UFO," says Marlene. "You two look great," she adds to James and Remus.

"Where's Evans?" James asks anxiously. He tries once more to tame his hair before he arrived, but it proved fruitless. It just would not cooperate.

"Marlene, is he here?" Lily calls from inside the house. Marlene looks around a little nervously.

"Erm– yeah, he's out here!" She shouts back. "You two, hide behind those bushes," she hisses to James and Sirius. "When I give you your cue, come out and—" But they run off before she can finish.

Right as they hide, Lily comes out and runs over to hug Remus.

"Good to see you too Lily," he laughs. "You look great."

"Thanks, you too. How's your summer been?"

Lily grimaces, "Long. Petunia is actually going crazy –"

"SURPRISE!"

Lily closes her eyes. No. It cannot be who she thinks it is. She must be dreaming… or more likely having a nightmare. Please do not be real… please do not be….

Without warning, she is lifted off the ground and hugged by someone incredibly muscular. Her face is pressed against his tuxedo covered chest.

"Put me down!" Screams Lily flailing all of her limbs.

"Ah, Lily-flower, haven't you missed me?" Teases James as he puts her on the ground again. She glares at him and straightens her dress out.

That is when both boys notice how gorgeous she looks right now. James' mouth would have probably dropped to the ground if his jaw is not hinged on.

"Nice dress Evans," smirks James, ogling at her.

Lily crosses her arms defiantly and looks accusingly at Marlene. This is obviously her repayment for inviting Remus without Marlene's knowledge and trying to set them up.

"Put your eyes back in their sockets, Potter," snaps Lily. James promptly turns his gaze somewhere else and Sirius smirks.

"Whipped," he mutters to James, who smacks him upside the head. Lily sighs.

"Come on, it's best to avoid the bride and groom," she suggests, leading them down the aisle. She turns to look at James and Sirius who are still in the same spot staring at her. "Unless you want to be put on a stake and burned."

The two of them guffaw, but realize after that Lily is not kidding. However, once James and Sirius see what this Dursley bloke looks like they have to hide their faces in their hands to control their laughter.

"Potter, everyone's watching you like you're deranged," hisses Lily. "Not to say they're not a good judge of character, but—"

"I resent that!" Says James, controlling himself again. "Tell me then, Miss Perfect, what was your initial reaction when you first met him?"

Lily smirks, "I knew if an army tank was ever to come and attack me, I had someone big enough to hide behind."

James looks puzzled, "What's an army tank?"

So Lily spends the remaining time until the wedding explaining the army and then the navy to James.

"Cool," he says. "It's kind of like the Order against Voldemort."

Lily nods, "In a nutshell, yes. Don't ask, Muggle expression." James grins and turns to see Sirius running towards them.

"Guess what, Prongs?" He says excitedly. "I think I just picked up some Muggle chicks. Hey Evans, what does it mean when a Muggle asks can I have your number?"

Lily falls into a hysterical state of giggles. She knows Sirius could not help not knowing what a phone is, but she has never actually been asked by a teenager what it is.

Once Lily gets over her laughing she responds, "When a Muggle asks for your number she means your _phone number_," Sirius and James continue to look at her blankly. Lily asks them a little confusedly, "Don't you two take Muggle studies?"

Sirius smirks, "That doesn't mean we _listen_."

"Then why'd you bother taking it?"

"It pissed my parents off like hell."

James and Lily laugh.

She asks, "What did you tell the girl then?"

"I asked her what the hell she was talking about and if she belonged to an insane asylum," replies Sirius.

Lily says, "I don't think you're picking up any girls today, Black." Sirius pouts and begins walking away to flirt with someone else. That is until he realizes it is a boy with longer hair. Lily and James swear that they crack at least five ribs from laughing hysterically. Sirius does not find it very amusing though.

"Where did Marlene and Remus go?" Asks Lily, looking around.

"They're talking over by the fountain," smirks James. It is true. Remus and Marlene are indeed talking over by the water fountain. Lily sees that Marlene's eyes keep drifting over by the punch bowl. "If you ask me, once we get back to Hogwarts we should stuff them in a broom closet together."

"They would make a cute couple… except…," Lily trails off.

James implores, "Except what, Evans?"

"Nevermind," she says quickly.

"Lily, the wedding is about to start. You have to go to the back," whispers Rose frantically. Lily grimaces and follows her mother to the back of the procession. James watches her once she has her back turned. His eyes wander particularly to the lower half of her body….

"Prongs? Prongs! PRONGS!" Shouts Sirius. James jumps and turns to face Sirius. "Come on, mate, if you don't move out of the way quickly you're going to be run over by the bride."

James smirks and sits down in between Sirius and Remus. The marquee becomes quiet except for the harp and piano player.

First comes Lily and two other girls who look at least two years older than her. James remembers Lily saying one is Nancy, Petunia's friend, and the other is Marge, Vernon's sister.

James holds back a snort once Marge comes into view. She looks like a female version of Vernon. Large, beefy, and she even has a mustache like him, though obviously not as thick and pronounced as his. Some may think she looks distinguished. And Lily by far is the prettiest of them all, no competition.

Next, once they had reached the altar, comes the flower girl. She is Lily and Petunia's younger cousin and she is throwing petunias all around. What a surprise. Personally, James thought the lily flower beat the petunia, but that is just him. Then came the ring bearer who is also Lily and Petunia's younger cousin. He looks around seven years old.

Then finally, comes Petunia in her white dress, which was being carried by two boys who look like they would rather be anywhere else. James thinks that for all it is worth, they have probably been paid by their parents to do this.

Once Petunia has reached the altar, she stands across from Vernon with tears in her eyes. James looks up to the front to see Mrs. Evans and Mrs. Dursley crying together, arm in arm.

The minister begins, going through the whole list of things they say when you get married, but James finds himself staring at Lily the whole time. Later, she realizes he is watching and gives a wink and rolls her eyes. He grins and turned his attention back to what is actually happening.

"Now, do you, Petunia Sarah Evans, take this man to be your lawfully wedded husband?"

Petunia stares into Vernon's eyes and both Lily and James feel like they are going to be sick.

"I do," she whispers.

"And do you, Vernon John Dursley, take this woman to be your lawfully wedded wife?" Asks the Minister. In James' opinion he also looks like he would rather be somewhere else.

"I do," says Vernon.

"Then by the power invested in me, I now pronounce you man and wife," says the Minister. "You may now kiss the bride."

James and Sirius make gagging noises as they kiss, much to the annoyance of the people behind them. Remus shakes his head and remains politely quiet. Marlene smacks the both of them on the arms since she's sitting between them.

They softly exclaim, "Ow," and grasp their arms.

She whispers, "Sh," with a slight smirk and Remus has to cover his mouth to cease his laughter.

Then the wedding reception begins fairly well, all things considered. Vernon and Petunia spend the whole time together as expected and Lily hangs out with the Marauders and Marlene.

"You looked tortured up there," comments Marlene, taking a sip of non-alcoholic champagne.

"I was trying to think of situations worse than that," smirks Lily. "It was difficult."

"Being attacked by the giant squid?" Suggests Sirius.

"Meeting Voldemort and him telling you he's your father?" Guesses James.

"Those are all pretty bad," amends Lily. "The best I could think of was a root-canal you don't need."

Everyone looks at her like she has three heads.

"Do you know how difficult it is to hang out with people who know _no_ Muggle expressions or occupations?" Asks Lily, amused.

"Almost as hard as it is to hang out with someone who does know Muggle expressions or occupations," teases James. Lily slaps his arm right where Marlene slapped him earlier.

"Hardy, har, har, you're so funny," she mocks. Just then Petunia and Vernon stride over to them.

"Hello Vernon," says Lily through gritted teeth.

"Hello Lily," sneers Vernon. "How was your school year?"

Lily knows he is asking her this just for kicks.

"Excellent, I happen to be one of the top in my year," she says, smiling sweetly at him. "These are a few of my… friends." James can tell though that she uses the term loosely. "You've met Marlene the other day."

Vernon nods curtly. He could not find anything negative to say about Marlene. "Hello. And who are these three? Your body guards or your boyfriends?"

Lily's eyes flash dangerously at the implication and James decides to step in.

"I'm James Potter and these are my two friends; Sirius Black and Remus Lupin," he says defiantly. "We're in the same year as Lily."

Vernon forces a smile onto his face, "How charming. Isn't that charming, Petunia?"

"Very," nods Petunia stiffly. She looks like she swallowed a lemon and seems to be giving a one-over on the three boys. She also seems, much to her unhappiness, impressed. Sirius notices this and smirks.

"How come you have all those scars on your face?" Asks Vernon suddenly to Remus. Remus freezes. "You look like you've been clawed close to death by a savage beast."

James, Sirius, and Remus exchange a covert glance. The other night had been a full moon and now that they look closely, they notice Remus' scars are very pronounced, being only a few days old.

"I don't believe it's any of your business where I got these scars," says Remus coolly. "Nor is it your business how I got them."

Lily has never seen Remus look so angry. She had long ago stopped asking how he got them and decided that when he wanted to tell her, he would.

"Why don't you not stick your oversized nose where it doesn't belong?" Suggests James.

"Oh yeah? Who's going to stop me?" says Vernon, laughing derisively. "You?"

"That's right," says James, taking his wand out of his pocket. Lily gasps and Marlene scowls.

"Potter don't be more of an eejit than usual," hisses Lily anxiously. "Put that away."

"Yeah, listen to her, put your little wooden stick away," says Vernon, knowing fully well what it is and what it can do. "Do what your little freak of a girlfriend says."

James has reached a boiling point and before anyone could say anything else, Vernon is knocked off his feet.

"Vernon!" Squeals Petunia, trying to help him up. He is so big that she almost falls down on stop of him.

James looks at the pair of them. It has been many years since he has caused accidental magic. He would have to be careful or else he can get in trouble with the Ministry and his Dad.

Vernon eventually gets up and glares at them before walking off with Petunia, once again, on his arm.

"What an arsehole," mutters Sirius.

Marlene crosses her arms over her chest and says in an almost bored tone of voice, "You said it."

Lily turns to James, "Potter, what were you thinking? You could get expelled for doing… magic. And put your wand away."

James hastily stows his wand back in his jacket pocket.

"I was thinking that that Vernon Dursley deserves to be buried as close to hell as anyone can," replies James stiffly. "He also deserves to be flushed down Moaning Myrtle's S-bend, but that's just my opinion."

They all laugh and the mood lightens considerably. Before they know it, the area begins clearing and people are starting to dance.

Sirius turns his head over to a certain blonde girl, "Marley, would you like to dance?" He gives her his signature 'panty dropping' smirk.

She smiles, "I would love to." Sirius looks over at Remus and James and smirks widely thinking he's scored big time. Then Marlene faces Remus with a genuine smile and asks, "May I have this dance?"

She gets her answer when he sticks out his arm for her to take. They head off to the dance floor and Marlene still smiles that same smile at Sirius. And Sirius is not smirking any longer and looks mildly annoyed. Lily and James laugh at his predicament rather loudly.

Then soon enough, Marlene and Remus are off dancing somewhere, Sirius has gone off to flirt aimlessly with more girls, and that has left Lily and James alone. To Lily's surprise, it is not awkward at all. James is actually pleasant for a change.

"How have you lived for the past five years in the same room as that pig?" Asks Lily, motioning to Sirius dancing with a group of girls.

James laughs, sending chills up Lily's spine for reasons unknown to her. His laugh is so melodious and light and airy, yet incredibly rich and husky. The perfect balance. "It's easy. I know all of his weaknesses and how to get him to shut up when I really want him to. No, Sirius is great. Always a laugh and when it comes down to it, is always there for me."

Lily smiles and realizes how close James and his friends are. She knows then probably to two most important things he values. Quidditch and friendship.

"Lily? Lily! LILY EVANS!" Cries James. Lily's head snaps up.

"What?"

"You looked like you were leaving us for a moment there," says James. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah, just thinking."

"What about?"

Lily shrugs. Then she gets a mischievous look on her face.

"Uh-oh," says James apprehensively. "That look can mean nothing good. Either you have a brilliant plan or you're seriously constipated."

Lily laughs, "Don't worry, it's not the latter. I think it would be amusing though if we were to play the question game."

"What's the question game?"

"It's the game where we go back and forth and ask each other various questions," explains Lily. "It can be about family, friends, enemies, etc."

James nods, "All right, you go first."

"Bad choice there, my dearie," says Lily in a mythical voice. James chuckles. "Okay, what's the most embarrassing thing that's ever happened to you at school?"

James blanches. This game is going to be the end of him and Lily would surely be the one to deliver him to his end.

"Err– I'm not so sure you want to know," he murmurs. He is not so sure he wants to tell either.

"Oh, come on! Just tell me, it can't be that bad!"

James sighs and then grins, "Okay, you asked for it. In our third year at Hogwarts, it was our first Hogsmeade trip and Sirius and I were walking down the street when we decided to climb up a tree and chase a squirrel."

"Uh-oh."

"Yeah, well we got up the tree and was on a branch when the squirrel jumped to the next and our pants got hooked onto the branch."

Lily already has tears in her eyes from laughing.

"Well we were just hanging there yelling for help when who comes along but your old buddy Snape and his two friends Avery and Mulciber," says James darkly. "They of course, found the whole thing very amusing and decided it would be even more comical if they vanished our clothing."

Lily gasps and James grins.

"So here we are, hanging for dear life on a tree, no clothes covering us _at_ _all_ and then the squirrel comes back and decides it'd be amusing to steal my glasses, leaving me blind as a bat.

"So it steals my glasses and I take down Hogsmeade wearing nothing but skin, chasing that squirrel and occasionally running into trees," finishes James. "Eventually McGonagall saw me though and took pity on me. She got my glasses back and Sirius and I got a month's detention for running around nude and climbing trees."

Lily erupts into a fit of giggles, "You're right! I didn't need to know that! Ever!"

James grins his infamous grin, "All right, my turn. Who was the first person you ever kissed?"

Now it is Lily's turn to blanch, "I can't say."

"Oh come on, I told you that story which I was dead set against doing, mind you," smirks James. "You at least owe me the decency of telling me who you kissed first."

"Potter, I really can't," begs Lily. She knows James can be an arrogant asshole most of the time, but the truth will hurt him.

"Does Marlene know?"

Lily shakes her head. "I refused to tell anyone. They think it's someone else."

"Who do they think it is?"

"Rhett Davies."

James spits out his champagne, "Rhett Davies?"

"They think that's who it is," implores Lily. "I swear to God I'll hunt you down and castrate you if you tell them differently."

James crosses his legs nervously, "Why are you so against—?"

"Because you'll hate it, Potter," says Lily, frustrated. "And quite frankly, it's none of your business."

"My story was technically none of your business either," points out James.

"Eh, technicalities," she says looking away, uncomfortable. James sighs. "I'm sorry, Potter, I just can't tell you," says Lily. "If I tell anyone it will hurt you."

"I'm sure you're just exaggerating—"

Lily slams down her glass of champagne, "Fine! You want to know who it is? I'll tell you. It was REMUS LUPIN!"

James' world stops spinning. Lily _kissing_ Remus? His best mate, Remus? Remus Lupin? What has the world come to? The world for sure must be ending. It is the sign of the apocalypse.

James grins, "I'm sorry, I must have had a misconception. I thought I heard you say your first kiss was _Remus_."

Lily sighs as she places her head in her hand, "You heard right."

James jumps up, "Remus?"

"Gazuntite," says Sirius, sauntering over to them and sitting down. "So, what are we talking about?"

"We're talking about how Lily's first kiss was Remus," sneers James. He cannot believe that Remus never told them this. He knows that James likes Lily!

"Potter!" Shrieks Lily. Thankfully, the music is so loud no one could hear her. Sirius looks shocked.

"Remus?" He says incredulously. "Remus Lupin of Hogwarts?"

"How many other Remus Lupin's do you know who go to Hogwarts," asks Lily coldly.

Sirius shrugs, "I'm just checking. Which year was it?"

"Seriously, when did my personal life become your guys' business?"

"The second you let loose that you kissed our best mate," sneered James.

"Best mate?" Says Remus, walking up to them with Marlene. Both are pink in the face from dancing and they look as if they're glowing. "Wouldn't happen to be talking about me, now would you?"

"Indeed," snarls James. "How come you never told us that you and Evans did the deed?"

Remus' eyes widen and he looks at Lily incredulously. Marlene looks at Lily with a mild form of shock on her typically neutral face.

"Now hold it right there, Potter! That's a load of bullshit," says Lily. "You practically made me tell you who my first kiss was. This is really your—"

"Whoa," Marlene says softly in her usual monotonous tone of voice. "I thought you said Rhett Davies was your first kiss!"

"She lied than, didn't she?" Jeers James.

"I lied because if I told you the truth I knew this would happen!"

"How could you possibly have known this would happen?"

"Because it's you, Potter! You always harp on about the most ridiculous things! For instance, why do you think no boy will ask me out anymore? Because the ones who did got run off by you!"

"Oh, and all this time I thought it was just because you're a bitch," smirks James. He has crossed the line again.

Remus and Sirius gasp. Marlene narrows her eyes dangerously at James and her aura is ferocious. For someone who cares about Lily, he sure has a poor way of showing it.

Lily looks like she has been slapped in the face. Tears fill up in her eyes after hearing something she always feared. How could he say such a horrible thing to her even if it was the truth?

"Lily dear, could you please cut the cake?" Asks her Mum, walking up to the five of them.

Lily takes one look at her mother and runs into the house.

"Was it something I said?"

**AN: Please review!**


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